Day 23: I Apply to be on Wipeout

Hey, hey, hey. Don't judge. Wipeout is the misunderstood Naked Lunch of our generation.

In case you don't know, Wipeout is a game show where people agree to embarrass themselves traversing an impossibly difficult obstacle course designed specifically to make said people look like morons.

See? Isn't that better.

Also they constantly refer to giant balls. Like these:

That'll be me soon!

Anyway, the questions on the application were a little personal, so I thought I'd share my responses. 

WHAT IS THE MOST DARING AND DANGEROUS THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE? DESCRIBE THE CIRCUMSTANCES:

• I once accidentally locked myself out of a cabin in the woods while I was there by myself. I had to climb up the side of the house to the third story window to get in. I made it.

WHAT ARE YOUR SHORT TERM GOALS BESIDES WIPEOUT? PLEASE LIST:

• To buy a TV so I can watch Wipeout.

WHAT SPORTS ORGANIZATIONS HAVE YOU BEEN A MEMBER OF? (I.E. HIGH SCHOOL; COLLEGE; MINORS; PROFESSIONAL; ETC.) PLEASE LIST ALL THAT APPLY AND THE LEVELS PLAYED:

• I played Football as a child, but that ended at age 11. Does drama club count?

WHAT WERE YOU VOTED MOST LIKELY TO... IN YOUR HIGH SCHOOL YEARBOOK?

• To become an actor. But the were, uh. They were wrong.

GIVE AN EXAMPLE OF WHEN YOU HAVE RISEN TO A CHALLENGE IN COMPETITION.

• In middle school, we were playing a huge dodgeball tournament, and I was the only person left on my team. We had a rule that if you could sink your ball in the other basket, your whole team could come back in. I nailed it, and we won. Unfortunately, though, I had already been tagged out, so I cheated to win. But no one noticed, and you're the first person I've ever told. 

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL OR STRANGE TALENTS?

• I've been told that I have menacing eyes.

WHAT FAMOUS PERSON DO PEOPLE SAY YOU RESEMBLE?

• Ashton Kutcher, but I don't get it.

IF YOU COULD BE ANYONE LIVING OR DEAD, REAL OR FICTION, WHO WOULD YOU BE AND WHY?

• Ashton Kutcher, so that I'd get it.

I've got this, right? 

Oh, I forgot to mention. I signed my brother Mark and me up for the Family edition of Wipeout, so this application was for the both of us. But I have a feeling he doesn't read my blog and just pretends that he reads it and says things like "nice blog, bro, it's hilarious" when he's never even read it. 

Let's see what happens.